Suddenly. I began to despise window shopping. I would only shop when I knew exactly what I was going to buy, I would purchase exactly what I wanted and go on about my day. The thought of looking at things that I couldn’t afford was sickening. Depressing. I would immediately become saddened. So, I just wouldn’t look.
I wasn’t always like that. When I was younger I would enjoy browsing the Internet looking for million dollar homes for my “ideal family”. I would day dream about how I would decorate each room, the birthday parties or family barbecues that I would host and the tons of family that I would entertain on holidays. This type of stuff brought me joy. I would get excited. But as I explained in my last post, I believe that the mounds of mistakes built up and I no longer desired dreaming. For it would never become my reality. I wasn’t confident in myself enough to go after those goals, and I knew that God could do ANYTHING, but why would do those type of things for me?
As I reflect on personal experience and scripture in attempts to answer this question.. I have no clue where to begin….
For me, the very existence of God has always been evident. I’ve always been conscious of God, so I believe it’s necessary to address this question from the perspective of someone who has not – been always conscious.
Since there’s so many different avenues and ways that I could begin to address this question, let’s begin here….